The Way of Love 1-18-09
I am rarely ever surprised anymore when I hear of a divorce announcement concerning anyone associated with Hollywood. If someone I know comes to me and announces that they are getting a divorce, my reaction would be a mixed bag of shock, sadness, and compassion; but when I hear of a Hollywood marriage breaking up, I simply react with “well, it lasted longer than many of those marriages” and I move on with whatever I am doing. It is a pretty sad statement about the culture of that part of our society that nine years is thought to be a long-lasting relationship. I was thinking about that this week, as my wife and I celebrated our ninth wedding anniversary, and I look back and see how short nine years really is. Three things have proven to be crucial to the nurturing and growth of what has proven to be a wonderful marriage, and they are known collectively as the Way of Love.
The apostle Paul wrote to the Corinthian church about the Way of Love when he instructed them about spiritual gifts; the Corinthian Christians had many problems dealing with pride and favoritism. It is in dealing with these problems that Paul addressed spiritual gifts in the twelfth chapter.
The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body. So it is with Christ. For we were all baptized by one Spirit into one body—whether Jews or Greeks, slave or free—and we were all given the one Spirit to drink. (1 Corinthians 12:12-13 NIV)
As it is, there are many parts, but one body. (1 Corinthians 12:20 NIV)
Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it. And in the church God has appointed first of all apostles, second prophets, third teachers, then workers of miracles, also those having gifts of healing, those able to help others, those with gifts of administration, and those speaking in different kinds of tongues. Are all apostles? Are all prophets? Are all teachers? Do all work miracles? Do all have gifts of healing? Do all speak in tongues? Do all interpret? But eagerly desire the greater gifts. And now I will show you the most excellent way. (1 Corinthians 12:27-31 NIV)
These Christians were dividing and discriminating on the basis of spiritual gifts; Paul wrote to them to show how everyone was supposed to use the gifts for the benefit of the body, not for themselves alone. He then wrote in the thirteenth chapter about love.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. (1 Corinthians 13:4-10 NIV)
Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. (1 Corinthians 13:12-13 NIV)
Not only is the church the body of Christ (and a body must remain unified if it is to remain healthy), but all of those spiritual gifts that were getting most of the attention and causing most of the problems are but imperfect reflections of what the true gifts of our Lord are: faith, hope, and love. It is these gifts that truly bind us together and enable us to humble ourselves and serve others as we seek out the lost sheep.
Now, what does this have to do with marriage? Everything! The Way of Love is faith, hope, and love, and the only way to have a good marriage is to incorporate all three of these into the relationship and the life you build together. A marriage must have trust between the husband and wife (faith), and it must have common goals and principles (hope). But both of these will fall short if the husband and wife do not love each other – as partners, friends, companions, lovers, and as brother and sister in Christ. Faith, hope, and love – the secret to a great marriage, and the secret to a great life.
-Charles Peterson